10 Tips From Dr. Jayme Albin -“Ask the Cognitive Behavior Therapist” on living better Mostly Everyone these days is looking to live longer, be happier and appear younger and leaner… Here are 10 simple ideas to help you achieve these goals without too much of a hassle: 1 Buddy up. Research shows that spending social time with … Continue reading 10 Tips to Feel and Look Better!
Being assertive is the most effective way to communicate our feelings and opinions especially when we don’t necessarily agree with others around us. However, it is also one of the most difficult communication styles to achieve partially because when we become aroused (excited, angry or anxious) we are less likely to use conscious thought and be conscientious in our approach…we are more likely to bark out commands or become defensive in our tone. The second reason why being assertive is often neglected is because of lack of practice. When we practice a new skill we create new mental habits and therefore improve the likelihood we will call upon it during times of distress.
Here are 7 simple, but highly effective strategies to use when you are looking to make a request from another and voice a different or negative opinion
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Without appreciation even eager “favor doers ” will eventually trickle down their willingness to lend a hand, will start to cut corners at work and eventually start to avoid families, friendships and coworkers who “only want something from them”. This is because once people feel under appreciated they no longer feel motivated to participated in the needs of others. It’s a simple but necessary reward system.
One solution: Restructure how you process the request for help. I often teach my clients to tease apart their observations and how they process/assess that information that feeds their reactions. Observation–>Assessment Style–>Reaction
Michelle’s automatic style of thinking was to observe Lisa’s emails as “she NEEDS me” rather than ” Lisa is asking for help”. The second assessment strategy allows her to feel in control because she can process it as “I have a choice in whether I assist or not”. The first point of view (“she needs me”) led her to process it under ” I feel forced and obligated. I am a bad sister if I don’t give her what she needs”.
Why Combine EMDR , CBT and Biofeedback? Combined with Cognitive Behavior Therapy the person can begin to integrate healthy ways of thinking into everyday life. Biofeedback therapy helps to integrate the calmer body sensations into life as well.
Automatic thoughts are the thoughts and images that involuntarily pop into our conscious (or just below if they are habitual). They make up how we “read” a situation and are assumed to be “True” at the time they are generated. Reactive behavior is based on automatic thinking.Understanding your automatic thoughts can influence change in a variety of situations.
So should we we bother to set resolutions and reflect on the past if it will only put us in a bad mood ?
Well on the flip side, if done correctly, reflecting on the past and setting intentions for the future does hold a lot of psychological value and research supports that it CAN help us feel more satisfied and motivated. Yeah 🙂
Be aware since -even small irritations or stressor influence how we process information and therefore effecting automatically your thinking style. Think about how quickly at times you can go from an open attitude to a defensive one. When we feel stressed it effects how you perceive the world and your own existence . Most likely you will see things are more threatening and problematic until your emotions simmer.
CBT for Self Esteem.Self esteem can broken down into 2 different levels. Implicit self-esteem and explicit self-esteem, which entails more conscious and reflective self-evaluation..Both types of self esteem are learned responses and therefore can be changed to include different responses.