Square Sliders 6
    Square Sliders 6
    CBT-New York Square Slider 5
    CBT-New York Square Slider 5
    CBT-New York Square Slider 4
    CBT-New York Square Slider 4
    Couple looking to each other during therapy session while therap
    Couple looking to each other during therapy session while therap
    Couple looking to each other during therapy session while therapist watches
    CBT-New York Square Slider 2
    CBT-New York Square Slider 2
    Alert woman sitting with her therapist talking to her in a priva
    Alert woman sitting with her therapist talking to her in a priva
    Alert woman sitting with her therapist talking to her in a private session
    • Menu

      Skip to content
      • Home
      • CV Dr. Jayme Albin
      • About Jayme Albin
        • Expert Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Videos
        • Approach To Therapy Manhattan
          • Jayme Albin, Ph.D on Cognitive Behavioral therapy NYC 10022
        • Bio Dr. Jayme Albin
        • In The Media
        • Books & Articles
        • Cognitive Behavior Therapy NYC Events: Past & Upcoming
        • TV, Video and Film
        • FAQ
      • Our Services
        • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Anxiety/Depression
          • What is Cognitive Behavior Therapy?
          • Using Concrete Goals to Maintain Therapy Gains
        • EMDR Therapy for anxiety & trauma
          • What is EMDR?
          • What is EMDR therapy and why combine it with CBT & biofeedback therapy?
        • Yoga Therapy
          • Yoga as Therapy?
          • How to use Flow Meditations to be happier and more successful!
        • Virtual Reality Therapy for Phobias and other anxiety disorders
          • Virtual Reality Therapy for Phobia & CBT Anxiety Therapy
        • Biofeedback Therapy
          • Why should you explore virtual reality for treatment of your phobia?
        • Couples Counseling
          • Dating Therapy
        • Executive Coaching NYC
          • Mental Strength Training Program
          • Gaining a new perspective on handling conflict: Overcoming no win situations
        • Body Image & Weight Behavior Therapy
        • Group Therapy
        • Personality Assessment
        • Health Psychology Therapy NYC
      • Anxieties Treated
        • General Anxiety Disorder
          • Get help from a NYC Psychologist or therapist to deal with anxiety related to New York City?
        • Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
        • Panic Attacks and Phobias
          • Get Help with Panic Anxiety with Cognitive Behavior Therapy -NYC: Tips from NYC Psychologist Dr. Jayme
          • Why should you explore virtual reality for treatment of your phobia?
        • Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)/Trauma Releasing Txp
        • CBT for Social Anxiety
          • How can I manage Panic Attacks using Cognitive Behavior Therapy and prevent Phobias and Anxiety Disorders from Developing
      • Mood & Attention Problems
        • Mental Strength Training Program
        • ADD ADHD Adult/Adolescents
        • Anger Management
          • Stop Automatic thinking and reactive behavior-tips from NYC Cognitive Therapist & Psychologist Dr. Albin
        • Chronic and Acute Depression
          • Can Cognitive Behavioral Therapy NYC help my depression?
        • Thought Disorders
        • BiPolar Manic Depression
        • Low Self Esteem
      • Virtual Reality Therapy for Phobias
      • Executive CBT Coaching Programs
        • Mental Strength Training Program
        • Virtual CBT Executive Leadership Coaching & Chair Yoga
      • Body Image/Weight Loss Programs
        • Body Image & CBT Weight Loss Intro
          • CBT Weight Loss & Weight Maintenance
          • CBT-for-Weight-Loss/Maintenance
        • CBT Body Dysmorphia Disorder/Body Image Distortions
          • CBT Body Dysmorphia Disorder/Body Image Distortions
      • Blog
      • Contact
        • Schedule an Appointment
        • FAQ
        • CBT Psychology Resources
      • Jayme Albin Website
      • Jayme Albin – Amazon Author Page
The Cognitive Behavior Therapist NYC -

Is texting ruining your relationships?- Tips from The Cognitive Behavioral Therapist of New York, Dr. Albin

    • Signup for our blog CBT-New York Blog

      Recent Posts

      • Tips on how to optimize holiday stress and avoid stress overload
      • Stress management skills NYC: How stress can hurt your presentation performance?
      • Expert phobia treatment : Cure your phobia with Virtual Reality Therapy
      • Why Virtual Reality Treatment for Fear of Flying Phobia is the best form of therapy?
      • Depression Therapy Midtown: Change your thinking become more productive

      Search

    Is texting ruining your relationships?- Tips from The Cognitive Behavioral Therapist of New York, Dr. Albin

    July 1, 2014

    There is no doubt that technology has changed the way we communicate and manage relationships. To name a few changes… Facebook has reduced the need to ask people how their day is going and share daily updates personally, online dating has reduced the need for people to approach possible mates in person,  and emailing and Skype has reduced the need for face to face meetings.  But the question is  has all of this technology made it impossible for people to connect and develop true  intimacy based on trust and respect ? In my marriage counseling sessions one partner usually feels second place to the gadget.  But putting the phone down doesn’t always solve the problem. Cognitive Behavior Therapy NYC Psychologist New York, Therapy NYC

    The answer is that it depends on how you handle your communications and how you manage your expectations of others in their communications. One of the most  common errors I hear people making  in using technology in their communications is when it comes to the expectations of how often and when others will respond to them.

    MYTH .  You think Texting is a 2 way radio communication. When someone does not respond to your text you become anxious and agitated.  Eventually you might lash out or do what  Jon Favreau  did in the movie Swingers and just keep “texting” .

    The problem with this is it pushes people away because your lack of flexibility interferes with their needs so you come across as demanding, pushy and needy. On the behavior side of this myth ,  you  ALWAYS respond immediately to others and assume therefore others should do the same 

    SOLUTION: Instead adjust your expectations about how often and when people can and will get back to you.  Here are some strategies on how to adjust your expectations:

    1.  First your attitude needs to be adjusted: Just because you send someone a text message does not mean they have the  capacity,  motivation or information necessary at that moment to respond to you. When you expect others to respond to your texts in this manner you set yourself up to feel annoyed and  rejected by others.  

      2  Pay attention to the lives of others and assume that they won’t be able or willing to communicate with you during certain events (like at work, in a meeting, out a social event with friends, family, exercising, etc), If they do communicate with you during a time when they are occupied look at it as a bonus not a must.

    3 Pay attention to the behavior patterns of others. If the person you are communicating with prefers to avoid using text for certain types of communication then act  accordingly. I often hear clients complain that when they feel vulnerable in a relationship they will send their partner expressive then get angry when these does not go well.  Instead be respectful of the person’s style of communication, this will help the person to become more expressive rather than just avoid.

    4 Be Direct and  Ask for a response.  Instead of assuming and personalizing someone as ignoring because  they are  not available to get back you or will get back to you within the time frame you have established in your brain,  ask them directly when you they think they can give you a response. Reserve this strategy for when you need a response by a specific deadline. 

    5. Be more empathetic.   Not everyone wants to communicate all of the time. This speaks to motivation, just because someone is capable of communicating does not mean they are always in the mood for texting. Instead of thinking “is he/she was really into they would reach out, it only takes a second to text” try to consider that sometimes people are not in the mood to communicate, They may have other things are their mind or feel emotionally self indulgent to the point of retreating from the outside world. This can be a normal response to having so much activity and communication. Remember we as humans were not built to be texting all of the time.

    Cognitive therapist NYC, Behavior therapy New York, Psychologist NYC

    6. Stop Texting and see them in person or schedule a time to chat . As an “Add on” behavior  texting is  acceptable, but when it’s not backed up with personal experiences such as face time or even phone talk time it can be shift quickly from  positive gesture of a friend saying hello/ asking a simple question to someone bombarding you, treating you in an inauthentic manner or invading your space.

    This is especially important for arguments.  People say more harmful things when there is less personal contact. If you are having a hard time with someone then try connecting more personally than a faceless text.

     

    For more information about how Cognitive Behavioral Therapy  New York Ny and other psychotherapy services with Dr. Jayme Albin Clinical Psychologist in New York CIty can help manage your personal or professional relationships please contact us today Info@cbt-newyork.com or 212-631-1133 you can also sign up for our blog at www.AsktheCBT.com

    Cognitive Behavior Therapy NYC Psychologist New York, Therapy NYC
    Cognitive Behavior Therapy NYC

     

    Post navigation

    ← Get Help with Panic Anxiety with Cognitive Behavior Therapy -NYC: Tips from NYC Psychologist Dr. Jayme Can Cognitive Behavioral Therapy NYC help my depression? →

    Leave a Reply Cancel reply

    Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

    • Signup for our blog CBT-New York Blog

      Recent Posts

      • Tips on how to optimize holiday stress and avoid stress overload
      • Stress management skills NYC: How stress can hurt your presentation performance?
      • Expert phobia treatment : Cure your phobia with Virtual Reality Therapy
      • Why Virtual Reality Treatment for Fear of Flying Phobia is the best form of therapy?
      • Depression Therapy Midtown: Change your thinking become more productive

      Search

ZocDoc

Jayme Albin, PhD - Cognitive Behavioral Therapist
Privacy Policy Terms of Service Sitemap Contact
Wath us on Youtube
Follow us on Twitter
Follow us on Facebook
Follow us on Linkedin

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Pinterest